Lending money to friends and relatives

I came across this article today about a high profile actor suing his father and uncle for an unpaid loan.  It just made me smile, as it reminded me of some saying about never lending money to people you like or love, cus it can ruin the relationship.

Quite a few years ago, I lent some money (more like gave it, cus I don’t lend things) to a close relative in order to help their family move and get a fresh start in a city that had better employment opportunities.  So, I really had no expectations — I never would have given the money had I had expectations of repayment, because expectations breed disappointment.  So, I lent the money, and didn’t hear from that relative for a few years.  They didn’t have the money to pay me back in that time period, and so didn’t want to initiate contact with me, out of a sense of guilt.  Eventually, I received a card with a cheque with the money and a bit of interest all paid back.  Since I was upset with them for not communicating with me for that time period, I never called or responded to the receipt of the card.  Eventually, I received a phone call from them, asking me if I received the card and the cheque, and was everything ok.

I told them I was upset, and they were puzzled.  I said I’m not upset about the money — I’m upset because you chose not to speak to me as a result of it.  It was like I had done something wrong, and was being punished for it.  Interesting…

Would I lend money to someone?  No.  Would I give it away if they needed it, and I had it?  Yes.  It is not a difficult decision if the need is truly genuine.

To your prosperity,


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The practice of “wombs for rent”

I happened to come across an article today about a baby born to a surrogate mother.  The baby’s parents have divorced, and live in another country, so the status of where the baby is to go is in limbo.  Apparently, India’s laws state that a baby girl cannot live with a single dad.

It’s the end of the article that helped me decide to include the article in this blog.  Here is a quote from that article:

Surrogate mothers in Anand charge about 100,000 rupees (2,500 dollars) for a pregnancy and have been approached by a number of overseas Indian and foreign couples who can have a surrogate baby at a fraction of the cost in Western countries.

Surrogate mothers are often poor women who opt to carry a stranger’s baby to help pay education and housing costs for their own families.

Through my research process for the book, I’m discovering so many ways that people choose to generate an income, and as a woman, I don’t think I could go this route.  I guess when one is placed in certain positions, perhaps the choices become easier?  I don’t know.

To your prosperity,


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The Cost of Dating

Just to introduce the topic of dating and the “money effect” (which I’m sure we could go on and on about), I came across this article  which gives some tips about how to not leave you broke when dating while enjoying some wonderfully romantic moments at the same time.  Come to think of it, I’ve been implementing these ideas for a long time now!  And, they are still some of my favorite things.  

My daily walks with my sweetie are something I really look forward to, and they don’t cost a thing except my time.  For those who believe “time is money,” I think of these times as…invaluable, or priceless!

To your prosperity,



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A Reason to Remain Single

So much information seems to flow towards me around the “money effect” on our lives, and this particular article triggered an interesting conversation in my home this evening.

It’s written by a 49 year old bachelor, based on a study he did about why men are remaining single. There is one quote, in particular, that relates specifically to this website, and I share it with you now…

Weisman also found that financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in men’s fear of commitment.

“Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool,” said Weisman, an engineer-turned-author with two books now published.

“While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them.”

Interesting to find out more about this trend…as it affects the whole structure of the old-way, “institute of marriage” concept.

To your prosperity,



Monday, June 2nd, 2008 Money & Relationships No Comments

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